Can I be you?

Can I be you?

Just to start I would like to say how I am beyond guilty of this topic and have been since I remember and to my knowledge a lot of us are too.

I have spent a countless amount of time scrolling on a screen, browsing through different social media accounts in which each one would add to the pot of self-hatred. It really does upset me that so many of us have learnt the type of behaviour that is ‘comparison’ which is ridiculously unhealthy for our self-esteem and confidence. I remember once being on a night out and actually muttering under my breath ‘fuck sake’ as I felt like the ugly duckling that sunk away into the background amongst all of my stunning friends. The whole night was filled with anxiety and ending up resulting in me drowning my sorrows.

We spend our precious time on this earth beating ourselves up day in and day out due to the fact that we don’t look a certain way that is deemed as “good enough”.

I don’t think it’s very fair to put a constant blame on social media for being such a bad influence and encouraging comparison. I do think it can have a negative impact if you aren’t using it in a clever way. If you head over to Instagram already with the feeling of insecurity with a feed full of models, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ve set yourself up for a bowl of self –judgement.

It isn’t just looks we compare, its people’s lives, houses, cars etc. We’re all guilty of wanting what we don’t have whilst lacking appreciation of what we do have. Comparison will forever snatch the happiness underneath your feet knocking you straight to the ground. There it stands laughing and pointing its finger in your face.

So recently I have filled my feed with positive quotes and pages that are aesthetically pleasing like a lot of good tasty food, things that I find positive and take great joy out of looking at. Nowadays, I wouldn’t dare speak to myself the way I used to and I really try hard not to compare as I know it will only lead me in the direction of some seriously vicious anxiety and will kill any sort of appreciation I have for myself. The thing is, you are always able to admire the way someone else looks without having to question the way you look and that’s something I really have learnt recently. Let’s face it, we can say ‘Oh I wish I looked like this person’ all we want but we just aren’t ever going to be anyone other than ourselves and that’s the cold hard truth. I actually sat and laughed the other day at that realisation because it really hit hard that I wouldn’t look like anyone other than me and that’s something that a lot of people should accept in order to set yourself on the right track of self-belief.

It’s time to focus on yourself and stay in your own lane, remembering that you have so much to offer as your own unique self. The only person you should try and be better than, is the person you were yesterday and not finding yourself in competition with anyone else. Something to remember especially these days is that you don’t have to be doing what everyone else is doing, especially if it isn’t something that’s going to make you happy. We can’t continue to compare our behind the scenes moments to everyone else’s highlights.

Comparison is the thief of joy and always will be.